Halloween is HERE..

Well the kids are excited and it's time to trick or treat!! It's chilly today so we are going to have to change up on the costumes.. Kennedi's Indian costume will be too cold so she's going to be a witch. Keeli is still stuck on the zombie bunny, but the bunny costume will not keep her warm enough. She will be a zombie soccer player. I went to sift through what was left over at the store just for a back up and NOTHING was really left. We just have to go with whats around the house. We've yet to carve a pumpkin!! Yikes. I think we will do that in a few. Maybe even roast our pumpkin seeds.

I remember this time last year I was in a panic over all the candy and how would Keeli even enjoy this day ever again. I've come to realize you just do what you did before. Before diabetes I'd of never let her eat her whole bag of candy so why fear she will want to now? We will go trick or treating have a blast, hope to stay warm... Come home check the candy and I'll let her pick out 30 carbs worth, stick a little insulin in her arm and all will be fine. One good thing is with treats like this, we can put them in out treat jar that we use for lows. We will be stocked for a long while. She told me one day she loved having lows because then she could eat candy with out a shot! :( That makes me sad BUT she was smiling so I pretended to agree. I'm sure tonight when I check her she will run a little high from sugar and excitement but at least she gets to be a kid. I'll worry about all the diabetes stuff so she won't have to. We will prep for our walk, I'll have her a tad higher then normal... so we won't have to worry about a low. If we are lucky we will come home to a good number. I feel like preparing for things helps. It's great when it works out. With diabetes though some days it doesn't matter what you do it tends to rebel. I'll post pictures of the beauties!! and that poor pumpkin that's been neglected. Wishing everyone a safe and wonderful Halloween!!

What to do?

I've been thinking a lot about how to make a little extra income. My husband found out the place he's been working at for almost 20 years is shutting down. We are a one income family.. This will be so new to us. I know so many people in America are struggling with this very same issue. I'm scared and pissed all at the same time. We have the opportunity to move 8 hours away for my husband to stay with the same company. A part of me feels like we need to do this. We have a child with needs and she may need help when she's older and I want us to be financially able to do anything for her. I think about starting all over from scratch again. We were so young then.. Now we are older and more worn out. How did things get this way? It doesn't even matter anymore who's fault it is, what matters is getting it fixed. I don't want to live scared we can't afford prescriptions that our child needs to survive, or scared we won't be able to feed our children or take them to the doctor when they are sick. Ahh it drives me up the wall just thinking about the change that is about to hit us. I'm clueless as to what we need to do to just make it all OK. I don't want to put Keeli's diabetes care in someone else's hands. I want to be here to take care of her. Monitor her and know how she's doing all day. At least while she's still younger. I need to make money from home. I've looked through several sites and knowing most all of them are a scam it tends to freak you out. I did come across one site that I'm very interested in and I think I'm going to really give it a ton of though over the rest of this week. From what I've read and seen it's legit. Hosting parties is one of my favorite things to do.. and selling bags and purses would be a joy. Blend them both together and I think I could do this. I've got people skills but I've never sold anything in all my life. It would take dedication, but I don't want to get frustrated with it and give up. I know this isn't a get rich business but the extra dollars would be better then nothing. And as of right now I've got nothing to offer. Wish me luck on this decision. I feel good about it, but still guarded. I need to stop being that way and learn to take chances. Looks like we won't have a choice. Back to the research.....

Meatball sub

30 minute clean up.

I have found mornings are the best time for me to get my 30 minute cleaning done. We start our school day with 2 work papers and imagination drawing, I fix my cup of coffee, sit Kennedi on the couch with the Ipad, yes an almost 2 year old can get a lot of use out of the Ipad. I set my microwave timer on 30 min and get started. I unload the dishwasher to make room for the daily dirty dishes, I wipe down the counters from our breakfast mess, I go through the house and sweep kitchen, dinning room, living room and hall. Run the swiffer over each room (wet) pick up the bathroom, dust the living and dinning room. Fold the load of laundry dried the night before. Gather a load to start after 8pm tonight. Go through a straighten any little mess that's been made. Beep beep times up.. It really makes our day go smoother with a clean house. It's never perfect but it's decent. I try to make sure the kids rooms stay cleaned up enough that it will take no longer then 15 minutes to get them back to the way I like them. You never know when you'll have company pop in plus I don't care what anyone says, a cleaned up house just makes you feel better. MY issues are organization skills, I have none. I need to learn. This drives me crazy.

Dinner tonight...

Tonight we decided on spaghetti and meat balls, which I'll make meatball subs with the left overs tomorrow. I will post some pics tomorrow too. It was yummo..
How I do my meatballs...

I used about 3 pounds of meat
1 egg (whites only) no real reason for that other then too much egg makes the meat tough IMO.
Italian bread crumbs
Parmesan cheese
a dash of garlic
mash it all together
I separate about a cup of the meat mixture to cook in with some sauce.
remember I never measure so I just go by the feel..
I roll them into 2 inch balls because they shrink.
I do fry these but they fry in their own nasty grease.
I know they can be baked and I need to start doing that.
I use spaghetti sauce from the jar. I don't make my own because honestly I love the jar kind. I've used several different kind and they all turn out good. I let the balls fry for about 10 minutes and then drain that grease, I then pour about 2 cups of sauce over the top and cover for another 20 or 30 min on med heat. While they are cooking I boil my noodles and fry up the rest of the meat. Drain the noodles pour the sauce over them and mix in the cooked hamburger meat.
I keep the meatballs separate and just add those on top, but it makes it easier to make the meatball subs the next night.

toasted Hoggie buns
meatballs
mozzarella cheese = great left overs.

Keeli's blood sugar 2 hours after spaghetti and meatballs, side salad and garlic knot roll was 175.. Damn noodles...

Just let her play...

I promised myself when I had Keeli I'd let her live fully with out smothering her. When I had our first I was greedy with her. I never would trust anyone to help me take care of her. I was so afraid of SIDS that I hated the thought of her staying with grandparents while she was a baby. They asked and I'd come up with some lame excuse. I was so selfish with her that it makes me angry at myself now. When I had Keeli I knew I'd still be selfish in letting her stay with people but I'd let her climb trees.. jump off the porch.. run barefoot with out the fear of a bee. Every tiny little thing that could happen to my kids consumes me. I do know it's an issue that I have. I can't stop it but I can try and make it better. So when Keeli was able to get around I let her explore inside and out. No baby gate just free range. She learned what she was allowed to touch and what she wasn't. When she was old enough for a swing set I let her go at it. Sure as she climbed the ladder to the play house at the top to slide down that big ole slide I cringed inside but I put on a smile and simply said, "just be careful" she never needed help. She was swinging on her on the day we got it.. sliding on her belly.. fearless to a degree. I loved watching her. I bit my tongue a lot... I let her stay with grand parents, go shopping with my sister. That's a big one for me. The thought of someone losing her or not holding her hand in a parking lot. But I had to trust that she would be ok. Believe me every time she was away having the time of her life I was sitting at home scared to death. I was proud of myself I was keeping my promise. Then came diabetes... It crashed all the strength I had built to let Keeli be free. I'm back to where I was all those years ago with Lindsi. I don't think people understand. Having a diabetic child means ANYTHING can happen. While she's asleep let me be honest she can die. And that's the truth. If she isn't monitored and she drops in her sleep that's all it takes. How can I trust someone to take on that responsibility. I feel like it's living with the fear of SIDS all over again. Some nights I only check her 2 times... There have been lots of nights I check her every 2 hours. Depending on the kind of day she's had. No more feeling the grass between your toes.. She needs shoes. I hate boo boos because if she runs higher it takes longer for them to heal. Not too long ago she was going through a high spell and the dog scratched her.. not bad but it took 2 weeks for that small scratch to heal. it wasn't infected it just looked new for 2 weeks. I homeschool due to shit schools and diabetes. How can I find the strength again to let a little go?

The other day she was playing on the deck. I had the back door open which is on the deck and she was riding her scooter on it.. There is a neighbor girl Keeli's age that asked her to come over and play. I don't even care for these neighbors. I don't know them. I am able to see their back yard from my door (the open door) Keeli ran in and asked if she could please go over there and play in her yard. I took 2 deep breathes and said sure, just until the pizza comes... I knew that would only be about 20 minutes. The little girls mom was outside (she usually isn't that I can see) Keeli ran over there as fast as she could. I walked by the door about 5 times just to take a peak. She was having a blast. She kicked her shoes off and was bouncing on the trampoline, running and just enjoying herself. I bet she didn't think 1 single second about her diabetes, but I did. I didn't want her to have to leave for being low. I didn't want to call her back home so I could check her real quick.. I just trusted in her that she would listen to her body. It was dinner time and I knew she needed to eat. Which means she'll start going low. The pizza came and I stepped out to yell for her. She came home with a huge smile. I did it. I let her go a little. Maybe it's not the parents I'd pick for Keeli to be around BUT as long as she's playing in my view I think it'll be OK. I can't keep my eyes on her every second of her life. I'm just terrified that the minute I stop something will happen. Fact is, she's growing up and I just need to let her....

Kitchen tips...

I think my kitchen stays the messiest of any room. I spend most of my time in here and I don't get much accomplished at all. We tend to be over run with trash.. Nothing worse then stinky trash.. The kitchen is small so even a little mess makes it look like a disaster. I think we seriously have more trash from the 5 of us then anyone else in AMERICA!!! Where does it come from.. Kitchen tips that help me, that I really need to stick to are..
Have your main trash can for regular trash, Keep a grocery bag from the store handy.. The brown paper bags are the best. I think of it as my way to recycle that bag instead of throwing it out. Sit it in from of your sink. Scrape left overs or any food through out the day that could stink up your regular trash can. I can fill a large one up in 24 hours. While our other trash can stays less full with only paper items.. Think of the money saved using bags from the store for your trash and you will only need to replace your reg. trash bag once a week. Nothing smelly in there so why bother? Just take the paper bag you've used all day and chuck it outside in the trash before you head to bed...
I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a dishwasher. I find the best way to keep the sink from being cluttered with cups and dishes is to unload the dishwasher every morning each time we use a cup or a plate we put it in the dishwasher. I fill up a large cup with soapy water and keep it on or in the sink and throw the silverware in it to soak all day.. Those tend to get crusty just sitting in the dishwasher. While I'm cooking dinner I just fill it up with the dishes I use to cook with... Scrape the left over food into that brown paper bag rinse and stick the dinner dishes in the dishwasher. I try not to run it until after 8 pm.. They say it's cheaper on your utility bill. Rather that's true or not I have no clue... But what's it going to hurt? By 8 your most likely done with the kitchen anyway. I put that silverware that has been soaking all day in there and let it run.
Keeping seventh generation disinfectant spray on the window seal to spray the counter tops down at the end of the day help keep those germs away.
I'll admit I'm a paper towel fanatic. We go through them like they are free!! That has to stop.. Keeli has to wash her hands often in order for us to do blood sugar checks. Clean fingers equal a more accurate reading. Just for her alone she goes through about 15 paper towels a day. NO MORE!! From here on out she will have her own hand towel sitting beside the sink for her to use instead. Plus that will cut back on the trash over load too.
I don't change out my swiffer pad everyday.. Those are too costly for me to get one use out of them. If we have a spill I clean it up myself. I've switched to an off brand wet wipe to go on the swiffer. The smell isn't a great as the other but who cares that smell fades as soon as the floors dry. It also doesn't have that rough scraper on her edge but I never used that anyway. These are just fine. I need to check to see the price difference. I sweep everyday and I run the swiffer over the living room, dinning room, hall and kitchen when I'm done. I've noticed the wet pads don't stay wet through that cleaning they start to dry up after a couple of rooms... The good kind and the off brand. I just spray my Mr. Clean febreze on the floor and mop away. I use that pad for about 3 days. Is that gross? Oh well. It works for me. Personally I think a mop is more gross it never gets changed out ;)...